Get Your Ex Back Today!

For most people, a breakup is one of the worst times in their lives (barring death in the family or serious illness), but in all honesty it doesn't need to be. Sitting on the couch in a slump of depression is NOT the way to handle it, and if you give yourself a little slap to wake up you can have a real shot at getting your ex back.

Your first step to getting your ex back needs to be changing your mind, and your outlook on life. We generally change our minds about 30 times a day anyways, so put that skill to use. If you take the wrong perceptual approach to a breakup, you're just going to sink into depression and gain nothing from the pain. If you look at it the right way, however, you can forge that raw feeling into something that really helps you turn things around: motivation.

Don't keep looking at things like they "happened to you." This is called passive self-victimization. Okay, so I made that up, but it's a good name for what you're doing to yourself if you see your ex as the "bad guy" or beat yourself up continuously over the things that caused you to lose out on your relationship. Take responsibility for the things you did that resulted badly, but don't let yourself think that there's nothing you can do.

Take the hurt you've felt from the breakup and use it to fuel your efforts at getting your ex back. Nothing is better motivation for fixing a problem than fully realizing the consequences of NOT fixing it. You've felt the pain of a breakup, so take steps to NOT feel that pain anymore!

Make this unfortunate experience into a learning experience. Figure out what went wrong in the relationship...it's usually something you did, or a behavior or characteristic. Relationship problems can range from smacking your lips when you eat to not being emotionally available and sensitive to your partner. There's a lot that can go wrong, but if everybody let the possible fallouts of relationships keep them huddled up on their couches the world would be a lot less populated.

Once you've found what your biggest problems were, correct them. It's that simple. You're probably saying "no, it isn't that simple," but yes it is. "No, it isn't!" Yes it is. We can go on like this all day, or you can get your ex back. Your choice. Whatever was afflicting your relationship and led to its downfall, fix it. If it was a habit of yours, stop it. If you didn't have enough time for your partner, make the time. Giving ultimatums may not seem like the fairest thing for me to do, but relationships often involve overcoming tall odds through efforts of sheer will...so it's good for you to get into practice.

After you've identified and fixed the major problems that fouled up your relationship, it's time to start trying to get your ex back. Your first contact should be light and generally non-aggressive, a phone call or email seeing how things are going is a pretty common start. The important thing to remember when building your relationship back up is not rushing things and frightening your ex off...you need to feel out your ex's feelings on the two of you and pace yourself accordingly.

Remember that even if your ex is mad at you, he or she probably doesn't hate you...and most of time breakups aren't the cold flat-drops you see in the movies. More than likely you'll be faced with a person who still loves you and wants to be with you, but just can't handle the stress of the relationship. It's up to you to remove that stress while keeping the happinesses, and if you can pull that off you two could go far. Stop being so depressed and afraid of rejection...get out there and give it your best!